Random Thoughts

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Three months from now, I’ll be graduating here at ICCT Colleges. I sat down here beside my bed as memories come crashing amidst the silence of my room, making me ask myself “Did I do something bad during my stay in ICCT?”, “Did I perform well?” Then flashback of my old memories as a freshman, junior and senior years played inside my head… I came from Angono Campus where I met my friends, where I grew and live to the motto and I quote: “Expect the Unexpected”, where I also learn to accept every challenge that comes to my way. Soon, I transferred here at the Main Campus as I find myself having some difficulty adjusting to how freshmen students turned into junior students then I was supported by my classmates who’s been used to it.

Later on, I am a senior student who had gone through the good times like group excursions where you shared  smile and laughed on each other’s jokes, group presentations where you shared ideas at the same time earning a good grade, class dramatic plays where your imagination, creativity and ideas are needed and group overnights where you spent your sleepless nights for creating your thesis. Of course, how come that I can forget the bad times? Like when I was scolded by my professor because of my group mates, superiority complex, attitude problems, inferiority complex and yes… creating thesis!!! Those thoughts made me realize that I’ve been through a lot. To be honest, I want to replay these so that I won’t forget each and every minute of my past.

In my last few weeks in the School, I am having doubts and uneasiness because of the fast approaching “judgment day” “will I graduate?”. Every day, I can’t ignore these feelings and those other problems that I must take care of bother me a lot. I must graduate because I want to help my family to support their needs… I must!!! Now, my clock is ticking just like Jack Bauer as he raced against time, while I am too, having my own battle against my College Life. Years from now, I could imagine myself having my own house, car and other properties while my family will be stable with my support. There’s nothing wrong with dreaming about things like this, I guess… but it is better to try to achieve it by perseverance, patience, and hard work. Nothing starts big; CEOs have their humble beginnings to tell.  And in time, they landed and reached their dream jobs. It’s all about patience and hard work!!! Right at this point, questions surfaced on my mind: What will happen next? Will I get a job? Will I turn out to be jobless just like the others or I’ll let the “jobless system” swallow me? Can my dreams come true or not? I don’t know but this are my concerns that turns me into a paranoid dreamer. This is the reality where everything cannot be predicted and is full of surprises.

Before I sat down and started my flashback memories at my bed, I saw an old newspaper, I read it and returned it. Again, I realized something; right after my battle with my studies, here comes the biggest opponent I must also conquer. I have to be prepared and armed with knowledge and experiences… My life after College.

(Joana Marie Gutierrez)