“Schizo”

blank-e1433578961652.png

I’m drowning in silence this night. I’m so sick of nothing but my heart. Too much I’ve seen, nothing’s ever told. It won’t take long; everything will fade as secrets unfold. All these I kept screamed silently. It never stopped but this time it’ll be free. First two hours… restless; thinking of ways that death is most painless. I’ve reached and grabbed a hand-full of light, thinking it’d last throughout the night. The light faded and now it is gone, just like a life ended with many things left undone. Once upon a time, I was happy too, but everything changes the same way I do. Now I am leaving who I was before, accepting that I’ll never be happy anymore. “Nothing stays and nothing ever will” that’s how I see it… that’s how I feel. Things come and go, just as I will be gone tonight. Screams are useless… nothing’s worth for a fight. Written words scar to be read and mourn, blood inked letter… tomorrow it’s my song. I remember… I used to sing song, but those songs weren’t mine. It reminds me of those days when life seemed to be kind. I guess there’ll never be someday that I’ll be standing from a distance, watching everything and regretting what I did. All alone waiting for the wind to be cold, ending a story no one ever told. Except for me!
I killed my dog when I saw him playing with a cat. I killed the cat because I know I needed to. I killed a neighbor who stepped on my grass. He’s unfair; I never barge -in his house. I killed my father, and another neighbor. My best friend… he’s gone, but I got his shoulder inside my bag.
I don’t want to be buried, I just want to fly. Tick… tock… tick… tock… Promise me you’ll cry. I lit a candle and continue to write, then threw it in my closet to lighten up the night. Before the break of dawn… everything will end. Let my body grime the air as tomorrow’s sun flares. (Charlie Ranido)